Chapter 2

2: 2

When the transfer notification came through, my sister snatched up her phone at once.

She saw the amount and froze, then looked at me, confused.

"Maisie, is something wrong? Why is it… such an odd number, right down to the last cent?"

Amanda leaned in to look, and her face darkened.

"Maisie Swanson, what's this supposed to be? You're making it look like I forced you to hand over every penny to your sister."

"Or is it that you're still sore because I told the salesman you were dying? So now you're doing this just to spite me!"

I looked up and let out a soft laugh.

"Mom, so you did know it would upset me."

Her mouth opened, but in the end nothing came out.

Seeing my sister's eyes still darting between us, Amanda pulled me into the study and let out a heavy sigh.

"Maisie, I know I misspoke just now… but I'm doing this for the first time too, you know. It's only natural that I get some things wrong."

"When I was pregnant with you, that heartless father of yours ran off with another woman. Your grandmother came to the house and hit me, said I was useless. My life was bitter."

"Back then I could barely look after myself. How was I supposed to raise a child?"

I'd heard all of this many times.

So once I was old enough to understand, I took the housework on myself, and I never asked her for anything.

I thought that was just how a mother was, that I ought to be understanding.

But after she had my sister, I realized how badly I'd been wrong.

Amanda learned how to be a good mother, learned how to love her daughter.

She poured all her love into her other daughter.

And me, the symbol of her failed marriage, she deliberately left in a corner and ignored.

I'd long since gotten used to it, but in that moment, the hurt still rose up in me anyway.

"Mom,"

I said it slowly.

"You say it's your first time being a mother, but you were once a child too. You know exactly what it feels like to be deliberately ignored——"

"Maisie Swanson!"

Her voice shot up all at once, furious.

"So raising you all these years is my fault now, is it! If it weren't for you, would I have suffered like that back then?!"

And I suddenly understood that her anger, right now, was because I hadn't accepted her grievances meekly the way I always had.

But I was tired.

And I knew arguing would settle nothing.

"Mom, I understand."

Once I'd said it, I went back to my room.

A few minutes later my sister pushed the door open.

Her face was full of worry, and she edged toward me carefully.

"Maisie, don't be angry anymore. You know that's just how Mom is. Sharp tongue, soft heart."

My sister was trying to comfort me.

But when the sharp tongue drives straight into your heart, it really does hurt.

I didn't say anything, just smiled and brushed my hand against her cheek.

"I know."

The next day, I went to the office to hand in my resignation.

When my coworkers heard about the lung cancer, they were full of sympathy and insisted on throwing a small party after work.

As it wound down, a male coworker I got along with well gave me a pendant he'd gotten from the church, said it had been blessed and he hoped heaven would save me.

I took it with a smile, and behind me a shrill shout suddenly rang out.

"Maisie Swanson, what do you think you're doing?!"

Amanda came rushing over, glaring at the coworker with open hostility.

"Your coworker told me you were eating here. Are you planning to run off with this dyed-hair kid?!"

I froze, and said in disbelief,

"Mom, what are you talking about? He's just an ordinary coworker."

"Do ordinary coworkers grab at each other out on the street!"

She snatched the pendant away without another word and slammed it hard onto the ground.

"Come home with me, now!"

The coworker, hit out of nowhere by all of this, had long since frozen in place, unable to say a word.

Something I couldn't name suddenly welled up in me.

I wrenched free, picked the pendant up, and handed it back to him.

"Here, take it back. I don't need it."

When I turned around, Amanda was staring at me, as if stunned by what I'd done, her chest heaving with rage.

After a long moment, she let out a cold, ugly little laugh.

"Quite the knack for reeling men in. No wonder you already knew how to drop your pants for older men back when you were just a teenager."