Chapter 2

I don't know how long it was before I slowly opened my eyes and found myself floating in the air.

So this was it. I was dead.

Before I could take it in, my body drifted on its own toward home.

I saw my mother holding Nina's memorial portrait, one hand tracing the lines of my sister's face.

"Nina, you're so pretty. Of course you are. Mommy carried you for ten months and gave everything to bring you into the world."

"You have Mommy's eyes and Daddy's nose. Anyone could tell in a glance that you're our precious girl."

There was a smile on her lips, but her eyes were full of grief.

In the portrait, Nina was wearing a floral dress.

She was smiling at the camera, her bright eyes so much like mine.

As she spoke, two lines of clear tears slid from my mother's eyes.

Watching her back, I reached out on instinct to comfort her, then my hand stopped halfway.

My mother had told me she didn't like it when I touched her.

The door swung open. It was my father, home from work.

When he saw her like this, he let out a heavy sigh.

"How long has it been since Nina left. You can't keep going on like this."

"There's still Sophie in this house. She's your daughter too. Just be kinder to her from now on, can't you?"

As if something had stabbed her, my mother's voice shot up.

"If it weren't for Nina, I never would have given birth to that little debt come to collect!"

"I wasn't even done recovering from the birth and I had to arrange Nina's funeral. And Sophie did nothing but cry and scream all day, so loud I couldn't even sleep! What more do you want me to do for her?"

My father opened his mouth, then only sighed, helpless.

Floating in the air, I tried desperately to explain.

"That's not true, Mommy. I'm not a debt come to collect!"

Back then, I was just so hungry.

The nanny my father hired saw that no one in the house paid me much mind, so she stopped bothering with me too.

Some days she couldn't be troubled to feed me even once, and hunger left me with nothing to do but cry.

It was only because I never got enough to eat as a baby that now, at five, I was far smaller and frailer than other children my age.

My father was silent for a long while, then spoke slowly.

"But life still has to go on. Sophie didn't do anything wrong, after all. It isn't fair to her, treating her like this."

"Yesterday you made such a scene that she didn't even get to have her birthday. Children are easy to soothe. Let me go out and buy her a cake later."

My mother froze, then said in disbelief.

"And what about my Nina? Because of that damned illness, she never got to eat a single cake in her whole life."

"Why should she? Why should Sophie get to be so lucky?!"

She screamed it at my father, hysterical.

I stood frozen where I was, my heart as if a hand were tugging at it over and over, an ache I couldn't put into words.

My mother said I was lucky.

But every relative and friend who saw me had a faint pity hidden in their eyes.

Last year, on the anniversary of my sister's death, my mother cried until she fainted again.

My aunt helped her back to her room, and when she saw me keeping watch at the door, she stood there stunned for a moment.

"Sophie, why aren't you asleep yet?"

I held up the warm milk in my hands and explained.

"The TV said if you drink warm milk you'll sleep well. I wanted Mommy to feel a little better too."

My aunt looked at me for a long time.

Her eyes reddened bit by bit, and she crouched down and gently touched my cheek.

"Sophie, how did you turn out so good. But you're still alive, and your sister, after all, is dead…"

Back then I didn't really understand what she meant.

Now I understand a little.

But it's a shame. I'm already dead.

I stood in front of my mother, reached out, and gave her a hug across the empty space.

Mommy, don't be angry because of me anymore.

From now on, you can miss my sister with nothing holding you back.

My father glanced at the time and picked up his car keys.

"I'll go buy a cake. And pick Sophie up on the way home."

He'd just reached the door when his phone rang.

I don't know what the other end said, but his face changed all at once.

"What?!"