Chapter 2

2: 2

That night, for once, Rolf came into my room.

He lay down and slid an arm around my waist from behind.

"Asleep?"

His breath brushed my neck, faintly sour with alcohol.

I didn't move.

He tightened his arm, and his voice softened.

"I was too harsh earlier. Don't take it to heart."

"There's really nothing between me and Dawn. We're just ordinary friends."

"She helped me land a project once, and things haven't gone well for her since she moved out there, so I helped her out a few times. That's all it is."

His hand rubbed slow circles at my waist, the same way he did every other time he wanted to make peace.

I edged toward the side of the bed, putting a little distance between us.

His hand hung in the air, paused a few seconds, then withdrew.

"I've already apologized. What more do you want?"

After a long while, his breathing turned slow and even behind me.

I didn't sleep at all.

Disappointment doesn't pile up in a single day, and a marriage doesn't mend back to what it was on the strength of one easy explanation.

The next morning I found him standing at the stove in an apron, two fried eggs turning golden in the pan.

He turned his head and smiled at me.

"Awake? Come eat."

He took off the apron and came over, his tone a little coaxing.

"Next Saturday there's a family dinner at work. Come with me."

"After we eat I'll take you to buy some new clothes. Didn't you say you wanted a coat last time? Let's go pick one out at the mall."

I nodded, expecting he'd forget it the moment he said it, the way he always had.

But this time he actually drove me to the mall.

I tried on a few coats, and he stood beside me nodding, saying they looked nice, any of them was fine.

I was about to have the salesgirl wrap one up when his phone rang.

He glanced at the screen, and his face changed slightly.

After he hung up, he said,

"Something urgent came up at work. I have to run over there. Keep looking on your own, I'll come with you again later."

He didn't wait for an answer. He turned and left.

I stood there, still gripping the hem of the coat.

The salesgirl asked me carefully,

"Ma'am, are you still taking this one?"

I set the coat down.

"Never mind."

When I walked out of the mall, a light rain had started outside.

I stood in the doorway a while, but the rain only came down harder.

I called Rolf three times, wanting him to at least drive me home first, but no one picked up.

There were no cabs anywhere. I gritted my teeth and ran out into the rain anyway.

By the time I got home, I was soaked through.

Before I even stepped inside, I saw someone sitting in the living room.

Dawn was two years younger than me, and after all the years apart, she was still as polished and pretty as ever.

Rolf came out of the kitchen carrying a plate of cut fruit.

He froze for a second when he saw me.

"Why are you this wet? Don't track it all over the floor, go change."

Seeing that my eyes stayed fixed on Dawn, he set down the fruit plate and lowered his voice.

"Dawn's ex-husband won't leave her alone, she really has nowhere to go, so I told her she could stay with us a few days."

Dawn gave a slightly apologetic little smile.

"I'm so sorry to be a bother to you."

She spoke so carefully, as if she were carrying some terrible grievance.

If I were a man, I supposed I'd feel sorry for her too.

I didn't answer her. I turned and looked at Rolf.

"I don't agree to this."

The living room went quiet for a beat.

Dawn's eyes reddened instantly, her voice thick with tears.

"I'm sorry, I never should have come and made trouble, I'll go right now…"

She turned to grab her bag, so flustered she nearly tripped.

Rolf caught her by the arm, anger held tight behind his eyes.

"Selma, that's enough!"

"Dawn's at the end of her rope, and you have to be this petty and make it hard for her? She's just laying out a bed on the living room floor. How does that get in your way at all?"

Dawn tugged at his sleeve, shaking her head through her sobs.

"Rolf, don't say any more…"

He pressed her back down onto the couch, his tone leaving no room for argument.

"You're not going anywhere. You're staying right here."

"In this house, what I say goes."

Wet as I was, I couldn't help shivering, but Rolf never once looked at me.

His eyes stayed on that red-eyed woman.

And in that moment it suddenly struck me.

I was the one who felt like a stranger who'd wandered into someone else's home.