Chapter 3

3: 3

Those few days, I lived in that house like I was invisible.

The first thing Rolf did every day when he came home was ask Dawn whether she needed anything, and when Basil got home from school he'd settle into the living room to chat with her too.

The three of them would crowd around the stove, and their laughter drifted from the living room into the kitchen, stinging my ears.

Once I came out of the kitchen carrying a bowl and saw the three of them on the couch watching TV, Dawn in the middle, Rolf and Basil on either side.

Basil said something, I don't know what, and Dawn laughed until she doubled over. Rolf laughed along with her.

They were the ones who looked like a family.

And I was just extra.

Soon it was the day of the family dinner.

I'd changed my clothes and was about to head out when Basil suddenly ran out of his room, clutching his stomach.

"Mom, my stomach really hurts. Take me to the hospital."

I didn't dare wait. I hailed a cab and got him to the hospital right away.

On the way I called Rolf. It rang five or six times and no one picked up. I called several more times, and still no one answered.

So I could only send him a message.

【Basil's not feeling well, I'm taking him to the hospital. We might be late to the dinner.】

At the hospital, the whole round of tests took nearly two hours, and when the results came back they said there was nothing wrong with Basil at all.

The doctor said Basil just needed to watch what he ate from now on.

Basil nodded, but his face showed no surprise at all.

I looked at him, and something felt off.

By the time we walked out through the hospital doors it was already past four in the afternoon. The dinner had started, but if I hurried over now it still wouldn't be too rude.

Except Basil grabbed my arm.

"Mom, don't go. Aunt Dawn already went to the dinner with Dad."

I froze where I stood.

"Dad said Aunt Dawn wants to come back to work at the company, so she needs to get on good terms with those people. If you show up it'll just make everyone uncomfortable. Better if you don't."

I opened my mouth, but something was blocking my throat.

"You had me bring you to the hospital just to get me out of the way?"

My son looked up at me, and there wasn't a trace of guilt in his eyes.

"Mom, I just didn't want you making a scene."

"Last time you went to Dad's company and made that kind of scene, wasn't that humiliating enough? Besides, letting everyone see you can be gracious about it can only help you."

He paused, then added one more thing.

"I'm doing this for your own good."

For my own good.

I looked at Basil, this child I'd carried for ten months and raised through every hardship, now telling me with complete sincerity that helping my husband's mistress get me out of the way was for my own good.

I didn't say anything.

I didn't cry, didn't make a scene, didn't rush over to the dinner and blow up the way Basil had imagined.

All at once I felt so tired.

Not tired in my body. Tired in a way that seeped up from the marrow of my bones.

On the way home, a message from my best friend Myra James popped up at just that moment.

【Selma, I've finished my retirement paperwork. Next week I'm heading out to the Appalachians to volunteer-teach.】

【I hear the scenery out there is beautiful. Come find me when you have time, and I'll take you around to clear your head.】

I stared at those two messages for a long while.

Myra had always wanted to go teach in the mountains, a way to give her decades as a teacher some kind of closing note.

Last time we had dinner, she'd taken my hand and said,

"Selma, if you hadn't given up your shot at college back then for Rolf, you'd be a wonderful teacher by now."

Back then I'd gotten into teachers' college. I even had the acceptance letter in hand.

But Rolf knelt in front of me and said he couldn't live without me.

The me back then chose the wrong road.

So now, I didn't want to keep making that same mistake.

I wrote back to Myra.

【When are you going? I'm coming with you.】