Chapter 4

After Frederick slammed the door and left that day, we didn't speak for three whole days.

He never came back. Not one message.

Whatever happened that night, in his eyes it probably wasn't worth remembering.

Saturday afternoon, the driver knocked and handed me a dress box.

"Ma'am, the Gilbert family dinner is tonight."

He watched my face and added, carefully,

"Mr. Gilbert is already waiting in the car downstairs."

I lifted the lid and looked. A dress inside.

Ridiculous.

Frederick really was that arrogant. He was certain the divorce I'd screamed about that night was just a play for his attention.

As long as he gave Mrs. Gilbert her face, I was supposed to shut up, turn the page, and go be a good girl who raised their bastard.

Dream on.

I didn't touch the dress. I threw on an old trench coat and went straight downstairs.

The second I pulled the car door open, a heavy ache dragged low in my belly.

My hand shook. I gripped the door handle and breathed through it.

In the back seat, Frederick was reading something on his tablet.

At the sound he glanced up, his eyes landing on the trench coat, and his brow drew together.

"You're going downstairs dressed like that?"

I didn't answer. I got in, jaw clenched.

His displeasure deepened, and he stabbed the screen dark, annoyed.

"Forget it. The elders are already here. Tonight we just get through it."

He paused, and there was a warning in his voice.

"Rein it in. Don't make a scene at the table. The child's situation has to be settled one way or another."

"Settled meaning I sign for it?"

He looked at me, and his eyes softened a little.

"Josephine, you used to love children. If this child grows up under your name, no one will look down on you."

"Frederick, however far I've fallen, I am not your family's scrap yard."

His brow creased.

"Don't talk about yourself like that."

I laughed.

"You've all treated me like this, and now you want to police how I talk about myself."

He didn't say anything else.

By the time the car reached the Gilbert house, my mother and Howard were already there.

Howard looked a little sheepish when he saw me, but he came over quickly.

"Josie, don't cause trouble today, okay? The Gilbert elders are all here. Leave your brother-in-law some face."

I ignored him.

The table was full.

The Gilbert elders looked at me with such warmth, warmth that turned me cold.

One of the aunts smiled and pulled me down into a seat.

"Josephine, you're a lucky one, really. That woman outside has no manners, she's not fit to enter this family. The moment the baby's born it goes under your name, and someday the child calls you Mom. Isn't that nice?"

Another elder picked it up.

"Two mothers loving one child. That child is blessed."

The teacup nearly cracked in my hand.

Frederick sat beside me and pressed his palm over the back of my hand, the pressure a reminder.

I pulled my hand away.

When the housekeeper helped Geraldine in, the whole room went quiet.

She wore a loose maternity dress, her face pale, her eyes red.

My mother shot up to steady her.

"Gerry, slow down, don't tire yourself."

The moment Geraldine saw me, the tears started falling.

She came to me and gripped my hand.

"Josephine, I really am willing to give you the child. As long as it settles you, I don't want anything."

Her hand was cold, but it held on tight.

The whole table was watching me.

I looked down at her hand.

"You don't want anything, Geraldine? You took Frederick's company. You took the Gilbert child. And now you want my face too."

She cried harder, cupping her belly and backing away.

Frederick was up at once to catch her.

"Josephine, don't provoke her."

I looked at the hand he'd placed at the small of Geraldine's back.

So practiced.

The Gilbert elders' faces had all gone sour.

My mother hissed at me under her breath.

"Do you have to make it this ugly? That's a Gilbert child in her belly. If something happens, can you carry that?"

Howard was frantic too.

"Josie, just sign it. The kid calls you Mom later, what do you lose?"

I picked up the guardianship consent form on the table.

As the pages turned, the line for guardian still read my name.

A sudden calm came over me.

I tore the document apart, one page at a time, the scraps drifting down onto the table.

Frederick's face finally changed.

I slipped off my wedding ring and set it in front of him.

"This child has a father and a mother. It has nothing to do with me. Frederick, we're getting a divorce!"

The whole table erupted.

Frederick stood, his chair scraping the floor with a sound that grated.

"Josephine, the divorce, we'll discuss it once the child is safely born."

I looked at him.

"You'd even make the divorce wait in line behind her due date?"

Geraldine suddenly clutched her belly, her face going white.

"Frederick, it hurts—"

He turned almost instantly.

My mother shoved me.

"Are you satisfied? You've upset Gerry into this state."

I wasn't braced for it. My waist slammed into the corner of the table, and a dull pain spread low in my belly.

Frederick scooped Geraldine up and started out. He paused for a second as he passed me.

"Josephine, go home and wait for me."

I held onto the edge of the table, sweat beading on my forehead from the pain.

"Frederick, I'm hurting too."

He gave me one look. It was brief.

"Have the driver take you to the hospital first. I'll send someone over."

Then he carried Geraldine out.

My mother and Howard followed after them.

The whole table was busy making calls, grabbing bags, calling for cars.

No one looked at me anymore.

I walked out of the Gilbert house alone. By the time I reached the door, everything went black.

When I came to, I was lying on a bed in the emergency room.

A nurse rushed in clutching a form.

"Miscarriage from external impact, hemorrhaging, near shock. Where's the family? We need someone to sign, now."

Something roared in my head. I gripped the nurse's arm.

"I... I was pregnant?"

"Nearly eight weeks. You didn't even keep track?"

She glanced at me, and her voice went gentle.

"Don't ask questions. It's dangerous. Let me call your husband first."

She dialed Frederick's number and put it on speaker.

The second it connected, there was chaos on the other end, a doctor shouting to get her into delivery.

The nurse spoke into the phone: "Mr. Gilbert, yes? Your wife took a blow and she's hemorrhaging. She needs surgery immediately. Please come sign right now."

The other end went quiet for a few seconds.

Geraldine was crying so hard she could barely breathe.

"Frederick, I'm scared... you said you'd stay with me, don't go."

I stared at the ceiling, the blood still pouring out of me.

Through the speaker, Frederick's voice came, a little rushed.

"Doctor, I can't get away right now."

The nurse's temper broke: "Mr. Gilbert, your wife is dying. Any longer and it's two lives lost."

Someone on the line shouted that Geraldine was bleeding.

Frederick's breathing went heavy, and his voice hardened.

"Do everything you can to save her. Money's not an issue. Once I finish here... I'll come later."

The call ended. The nurse stood there holding the phone, frozen.

I let go of the sheets I'd been gripping and closed my eyes.

Tears slid from the corners into my hair.

"Nurse, don't call anymore. Take me in."

"I have no family. And I... don't want him anymore."