Chapter 3

Disappointed?

How did she have the nerve to use that word?

She had all but broken me.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I pointed at the phone lying by the bed and shouted,

"How long are you going to keep lying?"

"Jack's messages, I saw all of them!"

The color drained from Viola's face.

She stared at the phone, then at me.

"You, you went through my phone?"

Then she started talking to herself.

"No, that's impossible. Jack and I agreed this would never reach you."

"He wouldn't have said it in a message."

"Never."

I said it weakly.

"Is it possible he did it on purpose?"

Viola's eyes went wide.

"No. Jack would never betray me!"

Even now, she was still fooling herself.

She had me so angry I could have spat blood.

"Whatever his reason for exposing it, you've basically admitted it now."

"Fine. Fine."

I got up, took my pillow, and walked to the guest room, hollowed out.

Viola just watched me go, quiet.

Not one word of explanation.

Until the middle of the night.

I lay there turning over and over, unable to sleep.

Viola came into the guest room and sat down on the edge of my bed.

"I know you're not asleep."

"I didn't lie to you on purpose."

"I was just afraid you'd misunderstand, afraid you'd say no, afraid it would hurt you."

The tears slid onto the pillow again, out of my control.

Viola's voice came again.

"Jack's pretty pitiful, all on his own."

"He just wanted a child."

"I'm his childhood friend, the person closest to him, and this was his one small wish."

"If even I won't help him, who will?"

"You have to understand my side too, don't you?"

Was she here to explain herself?

Or here to hurt me on purpose?

Nearly every line of her explanation drove straight through me.

I only wanted a child too.

Just that one small wish.

Who understood my side?

I'd thought it was Viola.

Only now did I finally see it. The person she understood wasn't me.

"I've already talked it over with Jack."

Viola's voice went on.

"He won't use the child as an excuse to call me over anymore."

"Only the three of us know about this. There won't be a fourth."

"Let's just treat it like it never happened."

"Let's go on with our life."

As she said it, she wrapped her arms around my neck from behind.

I pulled her hands off, hard.

Viola cried out.

"I came to apologize on my own, what more do you want from me!"

Apologize?

My eyes went wide in the dark.

I imagine the look in them right then was something vicious.

My wife had an affair and had a child with another man.

Then came to me and told me like it was nothing.

Said she'd already talked it over with him.

That from now on none of us would bring it up.

That no one would let it out.

That our life would go on the same as before.

This was an apology?

"What are you shaking for?"

Viola's voice came again, put out.

How could she know I was shaking because she'd made me this angry.

I swallowed a tear that tasted of salt.

And finally said the words.

"Let's, let's get a divorce?"